


Trouble In His Bones

by Kitty_Shinju (Queen_Kit)



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Don’t copy to another site, Gen, Humor, body swapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-30
Updated: 2011-11-30
Packaged: 2019-11-08 22:11:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17989445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Kit/pseuds/Kitty_Shinju
Summary: He always knows when trouble is coming. And he'll face it to the best of his ability no matter how unusual it may be. Crackfic.From my Old Fanfiction Net Account





	Trouble In His Bones

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: More than likely OOC, judging simply from my knowledge of Star Trek  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek

He jolted out of a sound sleep, a shiver running down his spine. Trouble was coming. Bones could feel it in his, well, bones. Not that trouble was anything unusual for the crew of the Enterprise. In fact, since arriving on board he had learned to distinguish between the different feelings and what kind of trouble they indicated.

There was the, Now Ignorable, Minor Illness/ Injury.

The, More Worrying, Major Common Illness/ Injury.

The, Nightmare Causing, Close Encounter with Deadly Threat.

The, Spine Tingling, Jim has a PLAN.

And Lastly, The Wake-from-a-Sound-Sleep-Shrieking-Oh-FUCK-Alarm, of Unusual (and at First Unacceptable) Situations.

Obviously this occasion was one of these last ones.  _Joy (/Sarcasm)._

He dressed in record time and rushed to the Medical Bay. Moments after he arrived, the door opened to admit his first patient.

~~~~ Meanwhile ~~~~

Jim woke groggy and disoriented to a feeling he was unaccustomed to. The feeling of the complete and total lack of morning wood.

He rushed to the door, not sure how he had managed to fall asleep in Spock's quarters of all places. He could only assume that he must have fallen asleep working on paperwork and the half-Vulcan had for once not seen fit to wake his captain to insist that he return to his own quarters if he wished to retire for the night. Yes he must have been working on paperwork late…

And so he ran to the Med Bay at his top speed to see Bones about this most pressing medical issue. He never even stopped to dress himself or shave.

The Med Bay door slammed open. Jim knew Bones would be there. He was always there when needed.

~~~~ Bones' Perspective ~~~~

"BONES! BONES!" Shouted the, typically more composed, voice of his first patient of the day. "Something's wrong! There was no wood this morning!"

_Come again? There was no what now?_

He turned to his first patient just as his second arrived.

"Doctor McCoy. I awoke this morning to discover a most peculiar infirmity. Upon reaching a mirror to inspect my person to discover if anything else may have been affected, I determined that this ailment was much more unusual than I had initially determined." Said his second patient, never once glancing at the other patient standing directly to his left.

Bones Sighed. "I knew this wasn't going to be a good day. Good morning Spock-Jim, Kirk-Spock. I'll have you both settled down for tests in just a moment."

"Spock-Jim? Kirk-Spock? WHAT!"

"Why don't you look in a mirror, Jim? It's fairly obvious exactly what's going on here."

"Fuck"

"A surprisingly accurate conclusion, Captain."

"Oh shut up Kirk-Spock."

~~END~~

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Just to clarify, they have been named in the order of Body and then Spirit; as you can probably tell by how Bones refers to Captain Kirk as Spock-JIM and to First Officer Spock as KIRK-Spock. At least he was smart enough not to go for Pointy-Eared-Hob-Goblin-Jim or any other naming more derogatory to Spock. So again, Spock-Jim is James T. Kirk in Spock's Body and Kirk-Spock is Spock residing in Kirk's Body.


End file.
